Group Experience, Yet Again
It is fascinating and rather sad to see how my attempt to share a topic I am interested in on the internet groups I am a member of, turned out. The topic of polygamy is met with great suspicion and fear, and I have no idea why that is the case.
Yes indeed, I dared to post the same post on many groups I am a member of - isn't that what people do if they are interested in hearing other people's opinion and in sharing something that is of interest to them ? Why then is me doing the same thing reason for suspicion and for thinking that I am the devil that wants to stir trouble ? I just wanted to share an important part of my life with groups of women that I thought I had a lot in common with.
It is amazing how emotionally charged this topic seems to be to a lot of women. Since polygamy is not a very emotional topic in our family, but a simple bible truth that anyone who was able to shed their own presuppositions would be able to see, I am surprised at the strong emotions my questions caused. It must be some type of fear, but for the life of me I cannot figure out what people are afraid of. No attempt to "convert" anyone was made, I never said anything against monogamy - God approves of both forms of marriage - and in one group I didn't even have the chance to say more than the initial post before I was classified a trouble maker and the topic was dropped like a hot potato.
Of course, the assumptions about polygamy are always the same: It is immoral, it is adultery, it is sin. But polygamy is not immoral, unless you call lifelong marriage commitments immoral, since it is not adulterous for a man to have more than one wife. It is adulterous for a man to sleep with a woman who is married to another man, since it is by her status that adultery is defined (look it up in a bible dictionary of your choice, or check our still-in-progress apologetic article on http://joshuahshouse.qupis.com/apologetics.html), and so it does not matter if he is married or not. The bible even requires plural marriage in the case of levirate marriage. Incidentally, levirate marriage not only potentially requires polygamy, but also incest: A brother has to marry, that is, sleep with, his deceased brother's wife in order to provide his brother with an heir, posthumously, if the brother didn't produce an heir himself before he died. Whether the brother is married at this point or not does not alleviate him from the requirement - he would have to take his widowed sister-in-law as his second or third or umpteenth wife and care for her for the rest of her life. Of course, as long as the brother is still alive, biblical law would consider it incest if he slept with his sister-in-law. So whatever it is that Christians of today call immoral, it might not be what God calls immoral, and for our family, it is only God's standard that counts. I suppose I don't have to remind anyone of the fact that nowadays, it is not uncommon in some Christian denominations to accept homosexuals as pastors and even bishops, and obviously find nothing wrong with it.
Polygamy, just as monogamy, are godly forms of marriage according to what God's inerrant word says, in all kinds of languages, archaic and modern, and you have to pull quotes out of context in order to come away with a different idea. You have to make Jesus talk about marriage when He is actually asked about and addresses divorce, for example. So we must be careful to allow scripture to shape and define our theology, and not permit our theological presuppositions to shape and define scripture.
Some group moderators' and members' initial comments and questions were exactly what I was hoping and looking for when posting my initial post on all those groups, since I am interested in learning how other women think and feel about it. I appreciated one moderator's call for respectful treatment of others, and it became evident rather quickly how necessary this call was since that respect was thrown out of the window quickly and I was being talked about in the third person a lot, as if I was not even part of the groups. This is how people would gossip about someone who has just left the room, it seems to me, and you know as well as I do that gossiping is something else God doesn't care for. It was also rather irritating to me to see the assumptions made about my husband and his motives. Many comments were not so much directed towards me as towards him, it seems, as if he was some kind of monster that kept his wives imprisoned. Consequently, some even thought my initial post was a secret cry for help, or, which I found more amusing than annoying, that God sent me into these groups to have them snatch me out of the fire. It seems my husband and I landed in the frying pan instead.
So no, I was not after strive when I posted my post about Christian polygamous lifestyle, and we have never hidden the fact that our family lives a polygamous life - it is plain to see on our website, on this blog, and in my yahoo profile. But I do wonder why people expected strive in their groups if they discussed this topic - if they were so sure that polygamy is wrong and that every decent Christian thinks the same, then all of them would be of one mind and could just confirm each other in this, and be happy about it all.
I just wanted to share sisterly. I hope that any woman who is interested in sisterly sharing, not only of the different aspects of polygamous lifestyle, but generally speaking of a radically Christian life, will join our google group so that we can continue there what never quite started properly in the groups I had put my hopes in.
Technorati Tags: Christian polygamous lifestyle, yahoo! groups, adultery, levirate marriage, Joshuah's House
Yes indeed, I dared to post the same post on many groups I am a member of - isn't that what people do if they are interested in hearing other people's opinion and in sharing something that is of interest to them ? Why then is me doing the same thing reason for suspicion and for thinking that I am the devil that wants to stir trouble ? I just wanted to share an important part of my life with groups of women that I thought I had a lot in common with.
It is amazing how emotionally charged this topic seems to be to a lot of women. Since polygamy is not a very emotional topic in our family, but a simple bible truth that anyone who was able to shed their own presuppositions would be able to see, I am surprised at the strong emotions my questions caused. It must be some type of fear, but for the life of me I cannot figure out what people are afraid of. No attempt to "convert" anyone was made, I never said anything against monogamy - God approves of both forms of marriage - and in one group I didn't even have the chance to say more than the initial post before I was classified a trouble maker and the topic was dropped like a hot potato.
Of course, the assumptions about polygamy are always the same: It is immoral, it is adultery, it is sin. But polygamy is not immoral, unless you call lifelong marriage commitments immoral, since it is not adulterous for a man to have more than one wife. It is adulterous for a man to sleep with a woman who is married to another man, since it is by her status that adultery is defined (look it up in a bible dictionary of your choice, or check our still-in-progress apologetic article on http://joshuahshouse.qupis.com/apologetics.html), and so it does not matter if he is married or not. The bible even requires plural marriage in the case of levirate marriage. Incidentally, levirate marriage not only potentially requires polygamy, but also incest: A brother has to marry, that is, sleep with, his deceased brother's wife in order to provide his brother with an heir, posthumously, if the brother didn't produce an heir himself before he died. Whether the brother is married at this point or not does not alleviate him from the requirement - he would have to take his widowed sister-in-law as his second or third or umpteenth wife and care for her for the rest of her life. Of course, as long as the brother is still alive, biblical law would consider it incest if he slept with his sister-in-law. So whatever it is that Christians of today call immoral, it might not be what God calls immoral, and for our family, it is only God's standard that counts. I suppose I don't have to remind anyone of the fact that nowadays, it is not uncommon in some Christian denominations to accept homosexuals as pastors and even bishops, and obviously find nothing wrong with it.
Polygamy, just as monogamy, are godly forms of marriage according to what God's inerrant word says, in all kinds of languages, archaic and modern, and you have to pull quotes out of context in order to come away with a different idea. You have to make Jesus talk about marriage when He is actually asked about and addresses divorce, for example. So we must be careful to allow scripture to shape and define our theology, and not permit our theological presuppositions to shape and define scripture.
Some group moderators' and members' initial comments and questions were exactly what I was hoping and looking for when posting my initial post on all those groups, since I am interested in learning how other women think and feel about it. I appreciated one moderator's call for respectful treatment of others, and it became evident rather quickly how necessary this call was since that respect was thrown out of the window quickly and I was being talked about in the third person a lot, as if I was not even part of the groups. This is how people would gossip about someone who has just left the room, it seems to me, and you know as well as I do that gossiping is something else God doesn't care for. It was also rather irritating to me to see the assumptions made about my husband and his motives. Many comments were not so much directed towards me as towards him, it seems, as if he was some kind of monster that kept his wives imprisoned. Consequently, some even thought my initial post was a secret cry for help, or, which I found more amusing than annoying, that God sent me into these groups to have them snatch me out of the fire. It seems my husband and I landed in the frying pan instead.
So no, I was not after strive when I posted my post about Christian polygamous lifestyle, and we have never hidden the fact that our family lives a polygamous life - it is plain to see on our website, on this blog, and in my yahoo profile. But I do wonder why people expected strive in their groups if they discussed this topic - if they were so sure that polygamy is wrong and that every decent Christian thinks the same, then all of them would be of one mind and could just confirm each other in this, and be happy about it all.
I just wanted to share sisterly. I hope that any woman who is interested in sisterly sharing, not only of the different aspects of polygamous lifestyle, but generally speaking of a radically Christian life, will join our google group so that we can continue there what never quite started properly in the groups I had put my hopes in.
Technorati Tags: Christian polygamous lifestyle, yahoo! groups, adultery, levirate marriage, Joshuah's House
