Response to a Group Discussion
This article is posted here instead of on an internet group in order to remain consistent: I said I wasn't going to elaborate on polygamy in my introduction to the group, but since the topic was taken up by others, we take the opportunity here to answer to some of the arguments offered. This article not only deals with a defense of polygamy (please see our apologetics page at Joshuah's House for a more elaborate defense of this aspect), but also with the general way people read Scripture nowadays. This article addresses biblical marriage and the concept of love, judgment and the notion that Christians always have to follow the law of the land.
On the Matter of Marriage
There were a few verses from the bible quoted in one of the posts I am referring to here. All these verses about marriage (Heb 13:4, Psa 128:3, Pro 5:15-23, 1Co 7:2-3) are very wonderful verses, stressing the beauty and responsibility of a lifelong commitment made before God and the beauty of people caring for each other in a godly fashion. God protects marriage indeed, it is a godly bond that secures the dominion covenant.
But the conclusion that theses quoted verses prove polygamy to be sinful, adulterous and whoremongery is wrong - here, presuppositions shape theology, and not the other way around. Polygamy, according to the presupposition, is not marriage, so the verses about marriage cannot apply to one man and many wives, but have to apply to one man one wife only. This presupposition is not a biblical, but a romantic concept.
Polygamy from a biblical perspective is simply "marriage". If you look up the word "marriage" and the respective verb in the Old and New Testament, you will find that the word is related to the following:
- a contract - "to marry: to give yourself in marriage, to take a wife, to get married" (H2992, G1060)
- a possession - "to possess, to rule over" (H1166)
- to conjugal rights, literally, the flesh (H5772b)
- a ceremony (G1062)
If you want to point to the "Song of Solomon" for notions of romantic love, please remember who Solomon was and how many wives he loved (and yes, he sinned in not listening to the commandment not to multiply wives to himself as the king (Deu 17:17)), and that Jesus came through this line, came through people like Abraham and Jacob, through the union of Judah and Tamar, David and Bath Sheba, Uriah's widow, all of whom were people who in some way or another lived in a polygamous relationship, or in the case of Judah and Tamar, had issues with the Levirate marriage commandment - check it out in Matthew 1 and the respective chapters in Genesis, the second book of Samuel and the first book of Kings.
If you want to point to Paul talking about letting every man have his own wife and every women her own husband (1Cor 7:2) to prove that Paul advocates monogamy, please look at the two different Greek words translated as "own" here and you will find that they both pertain to the man, that both state possession from the man's perspective - her "own" husband is her "proper" husband, the husband that properly possesses her, just as his "own" wife, "own" being a reflexive pronoun here, is the wife that he possesses, that belongs to him, that he is responsible for. If you look at the language, this verse is not a verse pointing to exclusivity with regards to how many wives a man can have, but rather to a woman belonging to one man alone, thus pointing to the responsibility on the part of the man, but doesn't indicate quantity when it comes to wives. Besides, the context in 1Co 7:2 indicates the reason for marriage in the first place: to avoid fornication. Men have to take responsibility for every woman they sleep with for by sleeping with a woman, a man makes her his wife. Even in today's world, by the way - a marriage that is not consummated is not a valid marriage in court, but could be dissolved based on the fact that it was never consummated, since it can legally be considered null and void. So the biblical standard is kept up here in this regard.
The bible uses no specific term for polygamous relationships, but simply calls having a wife or more than one wife "marriage" - and whenever "marriage" is mentioned in the bible, it refers to the biblical definition of marriage that includes both polygamy and monogamy, and not to a modern day definition of marriage that is based on a romantic concept and a social preference, in our small part of the world, for this romantic ideal.
In the bible you find plural marriage not only to be a common and accepted form of marriage, but also a protected one. The biblical definition of "marriage" is not "one man one women", but "becoming one flesh" (Gen 2:24), and since according to Paul you can become one flesh with a whore (1Co 6:16), it is by no means restricted to one man one woman as such, but to one man one woman at a time. The point about marriage in the bible is that it is a lifelong commitment, a lifelong responsibility, and it is formed by the act of becoming one flesh - no church, no state necessary. By sleeping with someone, you marry him or her. That's the biblical concept of marriage, it is as simple as that.
If polygamy was sin, why would God tell David through the prophet Nathan that he has not only given him his predecessor's wives into his arms, but would also have given him more if that was not enough (but David had to run off and sleep with a married woman (adultery = sleeping with a married woman, the marital status of the man does not figure into the definition), and then kill her husband by proxy (murder) - see 2 Sam 12:8) ? If polygamy was sin, why would a man be required to take his widowed sister in law and produce offspring with her in order to provide an heir for his untimely deceased brother, no matter if he was married already or not (this, by the way, is also contrary to the common incest laws, Deu 15:5-10). If polygamy was sin, why would the law of Moses specifically provide for the first wife and protect her from being cast aside for a 'younger model', as man in his fallen state is prone to do (Exo 21:10)? If polygamy was sin, why would Jesus portray himself as the bridegroom to ten virgins, five of which proved themselves to be unprepared and therefore unworthy (Mat 25:1-13)? And if polygamy was sin, why would God portray Himself as the husband of two wives to make His point about the idolatrous nature of His people (Eze 23)?
Marriage, according to Scripture, can be either polygamous or monogamous, the important bit about marriage is that it is a lifelong commitment, a covenant not to be broken by man - the only exception being the woman committing adultery (Deu 24:1, Mat 19:9). Adultery and whoremongery are sexual relationships outside this marriage relationship, not inside of it. You cannot commit adultery with you own wife, or be a whoremonger with your own wife. That's why the marriage bed is undefiled (Heb 13:4).
On the Matter of Love
When it comes to the biblical concept of love, here too, like always, we need to let God define His terms and not Noah Webster or any other dictionary author. To love God means to keep his commandments (Joh 14:15), to love the brethren means to follow God's commandments concerning the community, and to put the evil away from among the brethren if necessary - again, a concept of responsibility, by the way. Loving the brethren means not to murder and not to steal, not to covet and not to bear false witness, not to commit adultery and not to forget your parents ( the concept of a multi-generational family, by the way). Not to murder includes protecting the brethren from a potential murderer, not to steal means also protecting the community from a potential thief and so on and so forth, so the commandments point to the bigger picture of you not doing these things PLUS doing your bit to prevent these things from happening in the community. Where is the romance in this ? The main aspect of love in the bible is loving God and keeping His commandments, which includes caring for the safety of the brethren, and mainly describes taking responsibility as God commands, both within a marriage and within the community.
On the Matter of Judgment
When you consider the biblical references to judgment, you run into something that looks an awful lot like a contradiction: Judge not so that you may not be judged (Mat 7:1, Luk 6:37), but shun those brethren that are fornicators, idolaters etc. (1Co 5:11 was quoted), and don't let false teachers into your house (2Joh 1:10 was quoted). Besides these, you find Jesus being rather judgmental about people, calling them swine and dogs that you should not waste your pearls on (Mat 7:6), and Paul promises to those that display the fruits of the flesh that they will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19-21).
God of course doesn't contradict Himself, and this is only a contradiction if you put the first quote absolute, because then, you cannot judge anyone anymore to be a false teacher, a whore monger, a swine unworthy of your pearls, or exhibiting any of the fruits of the flesh Paul lists. The point about not judging is that we should follow God's assessment in every way, and not lean unto our own understanding when it comes to judgment (or any other moral and ethical, social and personal issue, for that matter, Pro 3:5-8). Thus, we can follow God in saying that homosexuality is an abomination to Him (Lev 18:22, Rom 1:26-27), without being judgmental on our own accord. Thus, we can say that liars and cowards are going to burn in the lake of sulphur (Rev 21:8), and don't keep company of people who ignore or ridicule God's Law (2Ti 3:2-5), without be judgmental, for we are obedient to His will in doing so.
The general call not to judge and to associate with everyone equally, no matter what they believe or not believe, violates God's commandment of separation and holiness (Lev 20:26).
On the Matter of Obeying the Law of the Land
Since I just summed this up the other day on this blog, I will just copy the part of the blog post relevant to the comment that polygamy is illegal in the United States.
5.
"Not to mention that in most countries, polygamy is illegal."
If you look at statistics, this assessment is inaccurate and reveals a rather limited world view, but let's continue arguing from a biblical perspective. This statement offers the view that Christians should obey the law of the state... but only as long as it is not in conflict with God's law, of course, since we can only show God that we love Him by keeping His commandments (Joh 14:15). And if people had always thought this same way about home schooling too, for example, it would still be next to impossible to home school your children in this country. But of course many good Christians nowadays take advantage of the fight people like Mr. Yoder fought against the state of Wisconsin, and take for granted their right to educate their children at home simply because it is (no longer) illegal to do so.
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